- Rent 'Christine' - Kill Tom - Buy hotdogs

It's not often that this happens; but when it does, it's a glaring problem. To an über-grammar and spelling perfectionist like me, at any rate. Nothing ruins a good asphyxiation scene than, “The pillow was pressed violently against Tom’s face, robbing him of air. “Oh, God,” thought Tom. “I’m going to chock to death!”

Oh my goodness, Tom! You’re going to wedge to death? What the heck does that mean?!

“Um...I dunno?”

Right, carry on, then. CHOCK to death for all I care.

Chock is pronounced ‘tchahk’; like chalk, only without the ‘L’. Chock can be used as a noun, to wedge or a block. Example, I use a paint can as a wedge between the door and the ground to hold the backyard door open. Or, my dad used to put a huge block of wood in the garage to guide my mother in parking. But goodness knows it hasn’t helped; I feel like one of those overacting victims in a remake of Christine when those headlights zero in on me....

Adverbs like ‘chock-full’ and ‘chock-a-block’, meaning ‘to or more than full capacity’ are quite popular. For instance, my closet is packed chock-a-block with sweaters right now. It can also be used as a verb, meaning to secure or brace or steady something. Think back to the paint can at my backyard door: it holds the door open, bracing it so the wind won’t close it and shut my dog out of the house (for which she would be extremely peeved).

Ex.: On Friday, my sister and brother-in-law packed their car up chock-a-block with bags. It was so crowded in their car, poor Kelby (their scary little dog) had to sit on my sister’s lap the whole 2-hour ride down.

Now, choke is a whole different ball game.

I really can’t see how anyone can mistake the two. Unless Harry Potter fans call Cho Chang ‘Chah Chang’, choke has a long ‘o’ sound, like in the word ‘so’. Choke means what everyone thinks it means: sudden stop of breath, to stifle, to strangle. To keeeeeeeel...! Well, you can choke someone without killing them (or so I’ve heard *eyes dart shiftily to the left and right*), so choke basically means to suppress. In a way, it’s like chock: chock also means to be choked with. So if I chock a sock down poor Tom’s throat and hold it there, he’ll choke. Laymen’s terms: if I wedge a sock in Tom’s mouth, he’ll suffocate. But I don’t have anything against Tom, so we’ll let him live. For now.

Ex.: “Hey, hey, hey,” Joey’s mom scolded. “Quit shovin’ down those hotdogs before you choke to death!”

“Actually, mom,” Violet smugly began from across the table, “that may be a good thing. It might help in the long run; he may even make a lucrative career out of it.” She smirked at Joey’s confused look. “No gag reflex.”

It was then Joey coughed, choking in shock.

Ex. 2: My psychology professor once told me she was a great handyman: being a single mom with three kids (two of which were girls sharing one bathroom—catfight, anyone?), she knew about choked drains, clogged with hair, makeup and other feminine accoutrements.

Chock and choke. Synonyms of each other, but they’ve got different meanings. So next time you see Tom chocking on something, you’ll know what to do.

(Just let him choke to death. ^_~)